A horrid parent can provoke many negative feelings. No wonder you often feel helpless and hopeless. 

You may feel:


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When your parent: 

  • continually tells you what to do and think.
  • inaccurately accuses you of doing something wrong.
  • holds on to grudges about incidents when you were small. 
  • makes wild accusations about you. 
  • makes decisions for you without discussing them first.  

Your feeling of injustice and resentment can be overwhelming. 


 

When: 

  • you can’t do anything right. 
  • it’s your fault when anything goes wrong.  
  • you’re always being criticised.
  • your every achievement is belittled.  

This can leave you feeling guilty when it's not your fault. 

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When your parent doesn’t:

  • listen to you. 
  • see the real you.
  • bother to find out what you’re really like.

When your parent speaks for you or makes assumptions about you.


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When your parent:

  • shouts at you.
  • uses a threatening tone of voice.
  • gives you an angry look.
  • makes you feel unloved and unwanted.

You might feel you want to run away.  


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Never knowing what mood your parent will be in can become a daily trauma, make you feel you are always walking on eggshells and keep you in a state of high alert.     

  • you are seen as a nuisance.
  • you are accused of things you would never do. 
  • the relentless criticism is deeply painful, undermines you and shrinks your confidence. 
  • you're continually put down.

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When your parent:

  • yells at you.
  • is out of control.
  • might hurt you.
  • makes you feel they might abandon you.

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When:

  • your siblings are treated properly while you are not.
  • you see how relaxed friends are with their parents.
  • you can't face telling anyone what you are going through.

Your  feeling of isolation can be very painful, particularly as the subject is so difficult to talk about. 


If you are upset by identifying with our descriptions it might help to write your feelings down.  Do remember that however much they overwhelm you at any particular time, they will fade and then disappear. Positives.
We hope this page helps you understand what you face day by day, how you can learn to accept it and more importantly move on.  Coping.