What you might feel like doing while an argument is blazing.

Argue back.

It won’t improve the situation. Your raging parent will not listen to another point of view, however desperate you are to stand up for yourself, or try to be heard, because they won’t want to resolve the argument.  They will stay focused on what they want to say until they choose the time to stop.  It’s best to disengage. Coping.

Try to defend your position. 

This will probably fall on deaf ears too as your parent’s anger is likely to be both unreasonable and irrational.  Coping.

Stay silent.

You might not want to say anything or have frozen out of fear or anger and cannot get the words out.  Silence can add fuel to the flames of a parent’s temper because they need you to respond to maintain their momentum. Coping.

This is not a good idea as it  could further infuriate your parent. Think carefully before seeking refuge in your bedroom as they may barge into what is your own space and continue shouting. Or, if you have barricaded the door, scream at you through the keyhole. Coping.

Storm out of the room.

This may work if the row has just begun, but, once the verbal hurricane is under way any chance of a calm, logical argument will be lost.   The more you try, the more victorious your parent will feel and the worse it will get for you.  Coping.

Try to calm the situation.

Once a blazing, unjustified row ends you may find it difficult to manage your feelings.

You may want to retaliate by playing loud music, staying out all night without letting your parents know where you are, self harming or smashing things in anger.  All of this will only lead to more recrimination and resentment.  Feelings.

These rows are awful to endure and exhausting to manage. Our website provides lots of ideas to help you cope more easily with your life.