A horrid parent isn't necessarily a horrid person. They can be highly successful at work, charming socially and concerned about other people's welfare. Some of their behaviour will include a veneer which unfortunately slips at home and especially with their child. Remember a lot of what has affected them occurred before you were born and cannot be your fault.
They may be affected by past events
- They themselves may have had difficult parents.
- They may not know how to love.
- They may have a problem with drink or drugs.
- They may have a mental health problem.
- They no longer have the energy to bring up another child.
Likely times of severe stress
- Family holidays.
- School holidays.
- Moving home.
- Your exams.
- Relationship problems.
Triggers of bad behaviour
Your parent's sudden extreme reaction can be:
- unrelated to you but you will still bear the brunt of their anger.
- about money or work worries.
- health concerns.
- about their relationship with their partner/your father/mother.
- connected to alcohol/drug issues.
- the result of depression.
- because they are in a bad mood.
Specifically about you
Your attitude and behaviour.
Your clothes and hairstyle.
Any piercings and tattoos.
You are becoming less/more religious.
Your perceived sex life.
Your sexuality in general.
Your social life and friends.
The time you get home at night.
Using the family car.
The amount of time you spend on a computer.
Whenever you are on your mobile.
You are not eating properly.
You are eating too much.
Drugs and smoking .
You are taking too much/not enough exercise..
How you are doing at school.
What you do or don't read.
You are not doing enough chores.
Your bedroom is untidy.
This long list of triggers shows that anything and everything can enrage a horrid parent. So it's important not to feel their moods are all your fault. Hopefully these pages will encourage you to take a mental step back and try to be more objective. We believe it will help you learn how to cope.