It took me a while to find the right man. Tom is younger than me but doesn’t seem to mind. He’s also seems to have totally accepted that at 38 my body clock is ticking fast.
We are living together and he wants us to marry before we try for a baby. My parents and brother like him and we both earn well, so there is no reason why we shouldn’t. But there is one looming dark cloud, and that is his mother.
She is a nightmare. She obviously wants to stay as the most important woman in his life and gives the impression I am a thief who wants to take him away from her. I’ve met her three times so far, but, apart from telling me how wonderful Tom is, which I agree, on each occasion she's said "only a very special woman" would be good enough to be his wife. I’ve got the message that she doesn't believe I am that person. Otherwise she largely ignores me and just talks to Tom.
She won’t engage with anything to do with the wedding, or even meet my parents. Tom has worked hard to persuade her to be part of a get together. She’s twice said she will come and see them, then cancels at the last minute with really feeble excuses.
When I’ve asked him about their relationship he says he feels sorry for her because she is a widow and believesshe is lonely. He rings her twice a day and visits her two or three times a week, on his own. That is obviously not enough for her as she keeps ringing to tell him all sorts of things are not working in her flat and that only he can fix them.
I’m rather fed up that he won’t take a stand or make me his priority. He says it will all change after we marry, but will it? I don’t know how I will take a mother-in-law from hell.