I am a 48-year-old man holding down a senior position in the financial world and my mother still treats me like a child. A key memory of my childhood is of her not speaking to me, sometimes for several days at a time if I displeased her in any way. Often I wouldn’t know what I had done wrong. If I asked, she’d not reply. As a result there was often a terrible atmosphere at home.
She didn’t speak to me for two weeks after my wedding for some slight she won’t discuss. My wife thought it might have been something to do with the table plan as we chose not to have a top table in case she caused trouble. I asked my late father at the time if he knew what was wrong but he wasn’t in the least helpful and said the usual: “well, you know what she is like?” My wife and I call it The Silent Treatment.
She remains unable to discuss things in an adult way. I wouldn’t take any notice except for the fact that she is now quite elderly and lives alone. If she doesn’t return my calls I worry about what might have happened to her. I try to ring at least once a week and pop round to see her every fortnight. I keep both quite short to avoid confrontation. She gets cross if I change dates or times, but this is sometimes unavoidable due to work commitments.
Any tips on how I can manage this?