If your horrid mother is putting pressure on you to spring clean your house, why not instead try to spring clean your thoughts. Spring is a good time to make changes as there is blossom on the trees, the weather is getting warmer, the days are longer and we usually have more energy.
Think through two or three characteristics your mother has that have upset or angered you the most. Write them down without worrying how you are expressing yourself, then either fold up the piece of paper and put it away or screw it up and throw in the bin. This should help clear your brain.
If, however, you find it hard to let go of painful memories imagine putting them into a box, sealing the lid and putting the box at the back of a high cupboard. You can bring your box down should you want to but you will be more in control of your painful memories rather than let them be in charge of you.
If your mother regularly tries to undermine you, block the thought until you feel calm and positive. Allow her characteristic to linger for a minute or two, then force it out of your mind. If at first this is too difficult, give yourself a time during the day to think about it. This again helps you be more in control.
It's possible that your consciousness may play up and a negative thought will pop into your mind when you are feeling low, or in the middle of the night when people are at their most vulnerable. Keep a piece of paper and a pen by the side of your bed and write yourself a note to think about it in the morning once you have got up. You will be in a better mood to cope.
If you have been holding on to a resentment for a while, early spring is a good time to try to let it go. Ask yourself why you are holding on to it when it is cluttering up your mind in a negative way. Then find a way to move on, be constructive and replace your resentment by doing something new. Perhaps take up a new hobby, take a walk in the country or/and and see friends.
Don’t think badly about yourself. However much your mother might criticise you, tell yourself that no one is perfect and everyone has faults. It’s important to accept who you are and try to learn from your experiences.
See our Coping page for more helpful hints.