I am devastated. My kind sweet mother died two months ago and I miss her hugely. Although she could't stand up to my father or even protect me properly from his tempestuous tempers and manipulative behaviour, she did her best. She also made being at home bearable.
In a way her passing was a relief. She had been ill for some time and eventually gave up on life. I visited her as much as I could despite living some 30 miles away and having three children and a busy job to manage. The problem is, since her passing, my father has become even more of a nightmare. I understand that he cared about her in his rather strange way, and that he doesn’t want to appear vulnerable. But I can’t cope with his domineering behaviour. He tells me I have to do his shopping and cooking now my mother has gone and will not accept any excuses. When I explain about my own demands he criticises me for being ungrateful for all he’s done for me, like sending me to a decent school.
A small part of me feels sorry for him because I know he hates being alone, but I feel I am crumbling under the pressure he is putting on me and my own grief. My husband has suggested that I cut contact with him because we have never got on and it was only my mother that held things together, but my conscience won’t let me. Please help.