I’ve been longing to go to university, not least to get away from home. What a disaster it has been. I don’t know anyone who has come to the same uni and I’ve been unlucky enough not to have been given accommodation on the campus.
Although Covid is not a major issue I feel very isolated and alone with no one to turn to. I seem to have nothing in common with my house mates. My demanding mother made my childhood a misery by constantly telling me how hopeless I was. So I was thrilled when I was accepted at a uni far away from where we live so I could start my own life in my own way. But I lack confidence and find it very difficult to make friends.
I have tried phoning my mother a couple of times in the hope she would be sympathetic with my plight but she has seen it as an opportunity to be spiteful, so I’ve stopped calling her. Unfortunately she fell out with other members of the family who have over time deserted her and I don’t know where any of them now live.
I am thinking about not going home for Christmas but am scared that I will fee lonely. How can I make friends and ensure I won’t spend it on my own?
OUR COMMENTS
Congratulations on getting a place at university. It must be a relief after your longed-for escape from home.
As your mother continually put you down, it’s not surprising that your self-confidence is low and you haven’t found it easy to make friends, a situation she’s taken advantage of in her efforts to continue to be unkind. But you are now miles away from her and you can start changing things for yourself. Why not make time to try to build up your self-esteem, work out how you would like to use any free time at uni and which societies you might join? You could also list your qualities and wishes while telling yourself that you are now free to explore all of them without your mother’s criticism.
Although you are not on the main campus you could try connecting with other students on your course or through other activities? You could also keep in contact with friends from school who have also left home and could be glad to hear from you.
It is unfortunate that your mother has distanced you from your wider family, but you now have a chance to try to reconnect with them by searching on the net.
It’s a good decision to make that as your mother continues to be unkind you don’t need to be in touch with her. Do start to make tentative plans to spend Christmas at uni so you don’t have to return home. Why not message some of the people in your hall of residence and see who else expects to be around?
