I am so distressed and angry. My eldest daughter aged eleven has just revealed that my mother has told her she is her favourite grandchild and that she is going to rewrite her will and leave all her money to her.
She asked her to promise not to tell me about their ‘secret’, but it made my daughter feel so uncomfortable that she initially asked me if we could talk about the tricky subject of keeping secrets and whether you should or shouldn’t tell anyone when you are worried about them. This gently led her to divulge what my mother had said.
I think what tipped her into confiding in me was that my mother added that I had been a terrible daughter and a huge disappointment to her. My daughter and I get on very well plus has seen for herself how difficult my mother is. I also know she admires me for holding down a professional job and, as she puts is, ‘always being there’ for her and her two younger sisters.
I don’t want any of my mother’s money for myself but I think trying to get my daughter as a joint conspirator against me is appalling. As is her intention that the other two girls miss out.
I have rung my mother’s solicitor who is aware of the issue and been very helpful. She had various dealings with my mother when my father died and knows how problematical she can be.
Up until now I have been dutiful, felt my children should see their grandmother fairly regularly and take them round once a fortnight. I am now in two minds whether to stop taking them to see her at all.